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Personal Development

KMM Views: Quitting- Is it ever okay?

By October 15, 2017 No Comments

Recently, I’ve had a choice to make that was probably one of the most difficult ones that I’ve ever made. It had to do with me quitting something to which I had committed. The reason that this decision was so difficult was related to the fact that I don’t consider myself a quitter in any respect. I often look at all the different individuals who give up so easily and quit on things when they get tough and I see people who lead lives of perpetual mediocrity that they eventually regret when they get older. For me, it’s so difficult because I’ve experience so many good things in my life by grinding through things even though they may not work out initially to give them a little more time to see what happens. In the event of this situation, however, I just didn’t have the luxury of “seeing what happened” because the decision would be such a final one that I had to be all on board or off. Therefore, I had to make the decision to go forward or not, and I decided I couldn’t. In light of all the New Year’s resolutions, and people looking for any reason to not continue going to the gym three times a week, I don’t want in any way to make it appear that I am condoning quitting. However, there are times in which it is the best decision based on the dynamics of the situation. Just like Mariah Carey should’ve quit drinking, performing, or drinking AND performing some time ago (If you don’t know what I’m referring to, please click HERE), there are three major questions you should ask yourself when it comes to should you quit or not?

I. ARE YOU NOT QUITTING OUT OF FEAR OR COURAGE?

This is the first gut-check question here. When people decide not to quit something, it should be a courageous thing in which they look themselves in the mirror and say that they can do it – not Instagram courage like a lot of trollers on the internet have, but real life courage in which you face something that you don’t want to do but know you should. These people, regardless of how hard it is right now, have the wherewithal to make it and will not put themselves in the same category of all those before them who gave up to early. On the flip side of this, there are people currently working jobs or are in relationships that they should’ve quit a long time ago, but didn’t either because of fear of trying something different or just the unknown. Fear has kept people putting up with terrible spouses, bosses, or hair styles for a long time. Many people are afraid of change and uncertainty in life and would rather deal with devil that they do now than risk finding the angel of their dreams by stepping out and taking a risk. When looking at your current situation, you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself this question. There are people who stay in relationships in which they know they aren’t happy because they have no concept of how to be single again and/or are afraid to be alone or they’re worry about what “others” would say if they broke up. (This may be why Nicki stayed with Meek for so long. I CAN’T WAIT for Drake’s next song about this.) There are many who absolutely HATE their jobs, but don’t want to risk not having a steady paycheck for any length of time so that entrepreneurial dream stays on the shelf for another year. Only you know the answer to this, so you have to be honest with yourself about your situation.

II. ARE YOU QUITTING BECAUSE IT’S TOO HARD OR JUST NOT RIGHT

This is a sticky one. As the old adage goes, “Anything that is worth something is going to be hard.” Therefore, how do you know when you should stick something out even though it may not be going as well for you as you would originally liked. You see this a lot when recent college grads who get that first job out of school, and as soon as it becomes a little challenging, they are ready to try something else because it just doesn’t feel like their “thing.” The reality is that when you first get out of college, very few things are going to seem like a good fit until you’ve put the time in to get good at them and learn the in’s and out’s that may make it your “thing.” On the flip side, however, in terms of relationships, often there are people who are not happy at all and argue every day, but they stay together because they have so much invested or because of the kids. The problem with this line of thinking is that you can’t get back the years that you already put into the relationship by holding on to it and the kids often are better off if the parents aren’t fighting all the time. To decide which one it is, you have to look at the core issues that are at hand and decide is it something that could be fixed or changed with time and/or work? If the answer is no, then it’s probably time to move on.

III. IS IT THE RIGHT DECISION LONG TERM?

Lastly, this is often at the crux of what you should consider as you look at your specific situation. In regards to working out, it’ll probably be hard to convince yourself that quitting two weeks into your “new you” routine is going to be the best for your health long term. It’ll also be hard to come to this conclusion when your night classes to get that undergrad or post degree start to get a little tough. However, when you are looking at a situation in which the easier thing would be to stay in it because of the level of comfort and familiarity, and yet you know that things are only going to get worse with time, then you have to make the decision to get out. Similar to the too hard or not right question, when faced with this situation, you have to look at the core of what the issues are and decide is it something that you can see getting better with time or worse. In regards to the job, often the answer is better, as you improve at your job, gain credibility, and build relationships that make the job more enjoyable. With a relationship, it could get better if counseling and communication will help the issues, but if the problems are core philosophical differences or problems in which one person or the other refuses to address, then quitting is probably the best decision. It’ll probably allow the other person to find someone who is a better “fit” for them. Maybe Tiny can finally be with Floyd Mayweather now. Who knows? Sorry TIP.

Quitting. It’s not something that any successful person ever wants to admit having to do, but there are times that it’s just the best decision. When considering it, however, make sure you are looking at the long term ramifications of your decisions to know if it’s the right thing or not. And while some decisions will be clear cut, it may take some years before you truly know if it was the right decision, just ask yourself these three simple questions and do what you think is best. That’s all we can ever do…

Ken M. Middleton

Author Ken M. Middleton

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